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INGREDIENTS:
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup nuts
1 or 2 pints of whisky

Method
Before you start, sample the whisky to check for quality. Good, ain’t it? Now go ahead.
Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup etc. Check the whisky again as it must be just right. To be sure the whisky is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can.
Repeat.
Add 1 teaspoon of sugar and beat the hell out of it.
Meanwhile, at this parsnicular point in time, wake sure that the whixy hasn’t gone bad while you weren’t looking’. (Open second bottle is necessary).
Add 2 large leggs, 2 cups fried druit an beat til high. If druit gets shtuck in peaters, just pry the buggers loosh with a drewscriver.
Example the whiksty again, shecking consistency, then shitf 2 cups of shalt or desterge or whatever (like anyone gives a schit).
Chample the whitchy shum more.
Shitf in shum lemon zhoosh. Fold in chopped sputter and shrained nuts. Add 100 babblespoons of brown booger or whushever’s closhest an mix well.
Greash ubben an turn the cakey pan to 350 degrees. Now pour the whole mesh into the washin’ machine and set on winsh shycle.
Check dat whixny wonsh more and pash out.

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